In June 2016, I had the privilege of reviewing the 2016 Isle of Wight Festival on behalf of UK Festival Guides. Oh yes.
A historic music event with roots deep down in 1968 and acts such as the Jimi Hendrix Experience, the Who, the Doors and Miles Davis perched on its illustrious branches, this year was no exception; Queen + Adam Lambert, Iggy Pop, the Who (again)…
Below are a few quotes from the review and you can read all the alphanumeric characters, silly, squiggly lines, some straight ones and a few little dots that make up the full piece here.
If dressing up like someone out of Culture Club doesn’t sound like your idea of fun, you could’ve been locked inside a metal ball attached to some bungie rope and had yourself flung far too many feet into the air, all for a price equivalent to that of a pint of beer. In fact, you also could’ve ridden a helter skelter, thrown a ball at some tin cans or some darts at a dart board. I guess the beer does sound like the best option.
But it wasn’t. At £4.50 for a bottle of Foster’s, which may as well be that fizzy, fruity flavoured water it’s so tame, drink was hardly cheap inside the arena. A decent bevvy would set you back close to £6 a pint, and if you had a wallet the size of a planet, or a brain the size of a crumb, you could’ve bought a bottle of champagne for £350. Uhuh, that’s right. £350. Just think of all the Flumps you could get instead. And to make matters worse you’re not allowed to bring in your own alcohol.
One of my favourites was Jackals Rose, a grungey, punky quartet with tinnitus-giving guitar solos, a hard-working bassist, a drummer who crashed about like a temper tantrum toddler, and a singer who screamed as if a Japanese spider crab had just clamped its pincers around his bollocks.
On the Main Stage were many more artists such as Faithless, who mainly played drum and bass – the stuff you’d pop a few whizzy pills to – as well as employing some more reggae inspired tracks and some dirtily distorted electric guitar. Their light show was just as captivating, all lasers and glittery sky. And even though one of the backing singers looked a bit like Phil Mitchell from EastEnders, he had a fantastic high, soft voice, as if a choirboy was hidden inside the larynx of a night club bouncer.